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Captain of the Shipwreck

by Robbie Brown

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HummusMoldAndSpiders
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1.
Breakneck 04:02
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Do you believe Do you believe in second chances 'Cause my faith is shaken Could you forgive Could you forgive your own transgressions All the trust you've broken Maybe you are just moving on Not giving this a second thought But if I'm not alone, please say You see the engines of time moving us at Breakneck speed, I can't keep up Killing me, all we do is run With blissful ignorance Into oblivion Do you believe Do you believe that people change 'Cause I'm not convinced now If you're caught in a web of lies And a spider comes forth to apologise Don't buy in, do not say a word Just watch as karma drops in, moving at Breakneck speed, but they'll never Learn a thing, you will take the blame With blissful ignorance Into oblivion With blissful ignorance Into oblivion Breakneck speed, I can't keep up Killing me, we're just running at Breakneck speed, I am being Left behind, and that's fine by me
2.
Endless Forest 02:48
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Out of body, out of mind All alone just passing time Shaking in my stasis chamber Do you know what happens here Where the only sound you'll hear Is my screaming for a neighbor Is anybody there Love or hate me, I don't care Anymore In this endless forest not a soul can hear me cry Best to set up camp and wait for light I can sense a presence here But it's no more than my fear Of exhaustive isolation It has been long ages since My last momentary glimpse Of a genuine companion Is anybody there Save or doom me, I don't care Anymore Got the endless forest as a long, unending home So why does it sting to be alone Here among the trees, there's not a soul to hear me shout Roar into the void and hear it say that I'm too loud Got the endless forest as my one and only home So why does it kill to be alone
3.
Get Out of My Head 03:14
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I don't remember asking for you back I was doing fine here on my own I was making progress on erasing you Your face, your smell, everything you've shown Don't want you in my memories I've disconnected from your energy So now you know There's nothing here for you, so go Get out of my head I don't care if you change, change away from me I don't know what to say, don't say anything If forgiveness is right, wrong is what I'll be I don't remember saying you could come And throw your fist through my heart again Only reason for your change of mind is fear You don't wanna lose another friend You should have thought of this before You pushed away from me and shut the door So now I'm free Free to do the same, you see And now you know You won't hurt me again, so go Get out of my head I don't care if you change, change away from me I don't know what to say, don't say anything If believing in you is right, wrong is what I'll be I don't care if you change, change away from me I don't know what to say, don't say anything If forgiveness is right, wrong is what I'll be
4.
Lament 05:27
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Ruin is not at my doorstep now And yet within I feel the desperate shout A question with an answer, lost behind a veil of smoke When desolation reigns, how do we justify our hope Bombed out buildings and burning homes Monarch presidents on oily thrones Nothing's sacred, no nothing's safe From the power of the purest hate So I sing a lament For the ones who were lost In the drumbeat of war Blood red sun sets at last I envy those who can just tune this out And move right past without a single doubt No idle thoughts about the state we're in Marching to the front with raunchy grins I am not at risk today So why do I wish to go far away Somewhere a little slower, detached from this world If such a place existed, there's no chance I would return Release from all my senses, for that I strictly yearn So I sing a lament For us all, we resent Everyone who does not Live like us, throwing stones So I sing a lament For the ones who can't speak For themselves, and for those Who are still trapped in Hell Too late to search for reasons War won't cure your lesions You cannot fuck the blood you spill So why's our only answer always kill, kill, kill
5.
Try 03:54
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I would vanish if I had the chance Where my heart should be, there's an expanse Caravans of grief supply my brain Gazing out my window at the steady rain Try to let go, but something stops me Boundless plateau keeps me from falling When my best just isn't good enough Feels like drowning up above a flood If the healing won't take pain away Then my soul is stuck inside a loop, replaying Try to break out, but I'm not able All of these doubts, they could be fatal I have no options left but I will try I have no options left but I will try I have no options left but I will try I have no options left but I will try, try, try Try to let go, but something stops me Boundless plateau keeps me from falling Try to let go, but something stops me Boundless plateau keeps me from falling
6.
The Lone Sock (Missing Their Other Half) 03:11
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I wear my polyester heart On my cotton sleeve I tell you, life is just so dark All alone in the heap Well I'm clean, single, looking for a mate And I'm brand new Wanna be a pair, can't wait to get my holes and my dirt As a team of two I know that I was made for walkin But I'd never walk on you I don't know how it is I'm talkin I'm a sock and baby how 'bout you Well I'm clean, single, looking for a mate And I'm ready to go Wanna be a pair, can't wait to get my holes and my dirt Baby you should know Well I'm clean, single, looking for a mate And I'm ready to go Wanna be a pair, can't wait to get my holes and my dirt Baby you should know
7.
Real Me 03:03
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Never been in doubt So why now do questions enter Can't seem to figure out What my mind is trying to render Give me a straightforward answer Who am I and where do I belong Are these delusions of grandeur Or is my deep-seated image wrong Who's staring back at me Inside the mirror I can clearly see Tell me who owns this face Upon my head with an uncertain gaze Where's the confidence I once felt for my own nature Replaced by cognizance That this pain inside is major A hesitance to deliver What the world wants in a rugged man I never stopped to consider That there's something more to who I am Who's staring back at me Inside the mirror I can clearly see Tell me who owns this face Upon my head with a weary gaze I see the real me They cannot be defined so effortlessly I see a jaded face No longer needing the world's embrace I see the real me I'm not a stone for your rigid sculpting I am the river's clay Too fluid to project your primitive ways
8.
What You Wanted 04:18
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I didn't ask for this Not one thing on my mind is of my making Papering over the cracks Too slow, since I feel my soul is still breaking I'll never be what you wanted But I hope to be more than this thing That I see in the mirror, pretending to be A person and not a disease You have every right To discard of the entity weighing you down Wide awake, teary-eyed at night I am more like a pet than a partner by now I'll never be what you wanted But I hope you still love who I am 'Cause day after day, I use all of my fight just to stay, stay alive Stay alive Stay alive Stay alive I wanna be what you see in me The pressure is overwhelming me I wanna be what you see in me The pressure is killing me I wanna be what you see in me The pressure is overwhelming me I wanna be what you see in me The pressure is killing me Red ocean at high tide Wave swells a mile wide It got inside my fucking eyes I'll never be what you wanted But I hope to be more than this thing That I see in the mirror, pretending to be A person and not a disease I'll never be what you wanted But I hope you still love who I am 'Cause day after day, I use all of my fight just to stay, stay alive
9.
My Care Is Gone 03:22
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Something is changing deep inside Rearranging all my mind The feeling's stealing me away Don't know what I can say My care is gone My care is gone Always unfashionably late I lost my love and all my hate I'm empty as I'll ever be Was worried, now I'm free My care is gone My care is gone And will we live or will we die I cannot help but wonder why We're caught up in something like this The world needs more bliss My care is gone My care is gone Don't be afraid Step in the shade There's room to spare When you don't care Something is changing deep inside Rearranging all my mind The feeling's stealing me away Don't know what I can say My care is gone My care is gone My care is gone My care is gone Is gone Is gone Is gone
10.
Captain of the Shipwreck 05:13
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Oi, tell the bridge Collision course, collision course You should've seen this coming for years Dumping buckets overboard Moving ballast to the starboard side Knowing if I don't do more These coordinates are where I lose the fight Do I have a higher gear, do I still want all these tests If my resting mind is this unclear I'm putting it to rest And I finally met my match so I'm giving this my best And if by some chance I am dispatched then lay me to rest Have I let it go too long Waking up submerged in freezing sweats Sinking in as I go down I'm the captain of my own shipwreck I am being left behind, out of body, out of mind If my resting mind is this unclear I'm putting it to rest Never did I ask for this, put me back in endless bliss Let me go down with the sinking ship, oh won't you let me rest Abandon ship
11.
It Will Never Be the Same 03:07
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Instrumental

about

TRIGGER WARNING: lyrical content relating to mental illness, self-harm, and suicide

I have a problem with my songwriting. I can never resist trying to put some kind of positive spin on the words that come out of my head, and I suppose that's not uncommon. I worry that the raw emotion of what I initially come up with gets lost though.

I thought it was important that at least once, I wrote a sad album, a frightening album, one without a forced, happy, figurative exclamation point after every single line. Most importantly, I tried to write an album that TRULY encapsulates the lowest of the lows I experience, without any filter or fear that I would lose a fan or a friend for the darkness of it all.

CAPTAIN OF THE SHIPWRECK is that album, and it was the title I settled on nearly at the beginning of the songwriting process. It answers any questions left by the lyrics. Everyone has a figurative ship they would go down with, at some point in time. Whether it's out of bravery or stubbornness though, that is up for interpretation.

You cannot heal from something if you never acknowledge it. Take that to heart, so that the things you miss do not ravage you.

credits

released July 8, 2022

Robbie Brown - lyrics, composition, production, instruments, and vocals

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Robbie Brown Lansing, Michigan

I write music about the human condition, driven by soundscapes inspired from a broad range of metal, rock, and R&B.

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