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Polynices

by Robbie Brown

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1.
You know I'm always here for you, but I need you to be here too Behind this masquerade of smiles and lies I'm slowly burning up inside But as long as the world's turnin' you'll try to keep this fire burnin' I won't hold your hand when it's over, who will you turn to when you just can't take it anymore I won't hold your world on my shoulders, was already holding mine before I want to make this work out right but I'm alone again tonight Give me an answer, what am I to do, to make it clear I love you Your smile, your laugh, they keep me yearnin', I need the flame of love burnin' I won't hold your hand when it's over, you've got no time for me but all night for someone else I won't hold your world on my shoulders, no I can't drag you out of hell As long as the world's turnin', I need the flame of love burnin' Burn it, burn it, burn it I won't hold your hand when it's over, who will you turn to when you just can't take it anymore I won't hold your world on my shoulders, was already holding mine before
2.
Explode 04:30
I must explode but I have no fuse, no more second chances I can use Spent last night awake in pain again, was just waiting for my early end My boat is rocked by endless waves, knowin' full well I just won't be saved I can't swim but I cannot drown, just see how long before my willpower runs out And fate has realised my biggest fear as the horizon line just disappears My eyes are failing, my world goin' dark, even after comin' so far Set me free, let me be, mend my heart I'm beggin' you, I'm fallin' apart [Bass solo] Set me free, let me be, mend my heart I'm beggin' you, I'm fallin' apart
3.
Antigone 02:49
Asked for a saint, got a sinner in its place Down comes the rain, from my eyes and down my face I wanted someone to ease my pain, you called me a waste of space I’m tappin’ out of your foolish game, I don’t have no time to waste I need an Antigone, someone to bury me When I’m left outside to rot, givin’ everything they got And I need a new shoulder to cry on, ‘cause yours is made of steel This is the hill I will die on, you won’t care ‘cause you can’t feel You were the one I relied on, at your pedestal I’d kneel Only hits as I slide on, not a thing you said was real I need an Antigone, someone to bury me When I’m left outside to rot, givin’ everything they got Can you save me from myself when my mind is on the shelf Collecting dust and bad advice, look out, here comes another vice You can’t shit in your hands and clap, then ask me why it fell on you I need an Antigone, someone to bury me When I’m left outside to rot, givin’ everything they got Can you save me from myself when my mind is on the shelf Collecting dust and bad advice, look out, here comes another vice
4.
Alive 03:59
I’m alive, though the world around me falls apart Alive, but I’m walking with a broken heart, alive So many years of sticks and stones, but I don’t have no broken bones By all these words though I’ve been stung, sometimes I wish I’d turn and run But something keeps me standing tall and I can rise above it all I can’t say I ever realised the fire in my eyes I’m alive, everything in sight is burning down Alive, but I want this ride to turn around, alive So many years of make believe, I’m running out of tricks up my sleeve I’m moving north, south, east, and west, ‘til I’m content I will not res But something pushes me right on and just for now the pain is gone I can take on the world, I’m standing tall, I can rise above it all I’m alive, and I feel the pressure breaking me Alive, but temptation’s slowly taking me, alive In the sea of life my ship is quickly sinking I’m caught in a storm of empty sadness Other captains stare, mouths agape and eyes unblinking But they send no help to save me from this madness I’m reaching out for a hand to pull me back to shore I hope they come soon ‘cause I can’t take this anymore I’m alive, and I feel the pressure breaking me Alive, but temptation’s slowly taking me Alive, everything in sight is burning down Alive, but I want this ride to turn around Alive, though the world around me falls apart Alive, but I’m walking with a broken heart, alive
5.
Break 04:45
Zero to sixty on a road to nowhere The thought bewitched me but I feel right at home there Today epiphany's my friend, were my eyes never open I no longer recognise dead ends, no will I stop hopin' The bridge is burnin' though the match isn't mine Our world keeps turnin', you're gonna be just fine Watching yesterday from up above, understand my big mistake I gave you every chance to love, all you know of hearts is how to Break me up again, today I'm gonna send you All the memories we made in the shell you ripped me out of and left me jaded When our love faded So done with waiting for the sun to rise So done with hating, dead weight goes bye-bye You can do as please, but suffice it to say I won't beg you on my knees for the time of day anymore, so I'm Breaking out again, someday I'm gonna send you The laughs we used to share in a box of complacency you left 'round here somewhere Not like you ever cared Never gave me anything to believe in, waste of time to have a consience in leavin', what is left I need to keep Here I am standing so tall and proud, here I am far from the madding crowd, the shepherd once led by the sheep But control is in my hands, control is in my hands Control is my hands, control is in my hands [Synth solo] I'm breaking out again, someday I'm gonna send you The laughs we used to share in a box of complacency you left 'round here somewhere Not like you ever cared Break me up again, someday I'm gonna send you All the memories we made in the shell you ripped me out of and left me jaded When our love faded
6.
You and I 04:24
I could say it to you 'til I'm blue in the face, all I want is this pain to be erased And I could never hurt you even if I tried, but the record will show that is my biggest lie Puttin' thoughts on the table is so hard for me, though I hear time and time again, "the truth will set you free" I remember the day I cried to you for help, you shook your head and told me to go to hell But I can't blame you the way you cast your blame on me And I won't fight you the way you picked your fights on me I will not forget you the way you've forgotten me I'll always love you just as much as you hated me [Guitar soli] I just want to believe in what we once had No thoughts of deceiving, no baggage in the past But I can't blame you the way you cast your blame on me And I won't fight you the way you picked your fights on me I will not forget you the way you've forgotten me I'll always love you just as much as you hated me Just as much as you hated me Just as much as you hated me Just as much as you hated me, I will love
7.
I’ve been on this road for so long but I finally see the end It’s been such a long time, I’ve come back a new man I’ve found who I am and damn it all I will make a change And when I see my true self it just drives me insane I have seen it all, I’ve done it all but it wasn’t enough All I really want is to be with you, with your love [Synth solo] So many nights I couldn’t sleep, because I thought so much of you And so many days I just had to stop awhile to let my daydreams of us pass through I have seen it all, I’ve done it all but it wasn’t enough All I really want is to be with you, with your love [Guitar solo] I’ve been on this road for so long but I finally see the end It’s been such a long time, I’ve come back a new man I have seen it all, I’ve done it all but it wasn’t enough All I really want is to be with you, with your love I have seen it all, I’ve done it all but it wasn’t enough All I really want is to be with you, with your love I have seen it all, I’ve done it all but it wasn’t enough All I really want is to be with you, with your love
8.
[Synth solo] Life is killing me, things I could never be All found in my reflection, a sad and lost collection Reaching out for a hand that won't be there Reaching out from my four-walled world with no air How I wish I could turn back the hands of time Find a reason to fit this dead life's rhyme Pull the blinds shut, keep the world from getting in Tie your hands up, feel the pain that's setting in A failure from start to end, wounds I can never mend Dreams I will never see, this life is killing me And still there's a foolish part inside That clings to some childish hope to ride The storm out when the sun has already gone And I'm singing my same old, tired songs Pull the blinds shut, keep the world from getting in Tie your hands up, feel the pain that's setting in [Guitar solo] Pull the blinds shut, keep the world from getting in Tie your hands up [Synth solo] Don't leave no roses at my grave Don't feel so wrong, you couldn't save me

about

TRIGGER WARNING: lyrical content relating to mental illness, self-harm, and suicide

Welcome to an album consisting of 2.0 versions of much older compositions. Everything on this album is a rework, and let me tell you, there's a reason most of the originals are no longer easy to find. I started writing long before I knew a thing about production, mixing, or even click tracks! POLYNICES is a redemption arc for eight of my early songs that I hold close to my heart.

Cover art: pixabay.com/illustrations/laurel-wreath-anniversary-great-day-441559/

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released May 1, 2020

Robbie Brown - lyrics, composition, production, instruments, and vocals

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Robbie Brown Lansing, Michigan

I write music about the human condition, driven by soundscapes inspired from a broad range of metal, rock, and R&B.

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